daveyhill

I hate my gender: Pt 1 (Women and love)

krstycrlss:

Women don’t love men; they love arm candy. Gifts, compliments, and being in control. The first step to being in love, is growing the fuck up and realizing that none of these things matter. Those gifts were bought 20 minutes prior to you receiving them, and are most likely a camouflaged way of asking for a blowjob. The compliments are to make you shut the hell up. And despite how much you believe that you’ll be able to change the way he dresses and/or treats you, I’ll inform you that you will never have the skill to pull off a precarious task such as that. Stop worrying about what your boyfriend is doing wrong, and address your own problems instead. Because no matter what he’s doing, he’s wrong. This guy could be going 100mph, trying to please every one of your miniscule fucking needs, but he’ll never get it right. Right? But who am I to talk all of this shit about women? Oh, wait. I am one. And I deserve every right to talk as much shit about whoever and whatever I want (after all, that’s what we do best). I admit to being catty, loud-mouthed and for the most part, uneducated. So as far as I see it, I’m entitled to write about my animosity toward my fellow females.

If you want your boyfriend to say “I love you” and mean it, if you want your boyfriend to stop thinking about your best friend while you’re having sex, if you “want him to want to do the dishes” .. then follow these instructions very carefully, ladies. Sit down, get off your phone, and watch the game with your mouth shut. And if you can’t do that, go in the bedroom and make a scrapbook.

Kristy is one of the funniest chicks I know. This is so hilarious and mostly true, hahahahahaha